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Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Thai Wedding Customs

On the evening of the day before the wedding day, a Buddhist ceremony (วันสุกดิบ) happens. During this ceremony, the newly weds pay homage to the bride ancestors. The newly weds wear ordinary clothes.During this wedding ceremony nine monks are invited.

Doors ceremony


A procession leaded by the groom and with the relatives bring the gifts and the food to the bride's home. Music is played during the whole procession ceremony. The procession song is called "RAM VONG KLONG YAO" (รำวงกลองยาว)).
During this ceremony (พิธีแห่ขันหมาก), the groom leads the guests. If the groom's house is too far from the bride's house, a place like a bus stop can symbolise the groom's house. The groom walks followed by his parents, family and friends. The groom has to cross symbolic doors before entering into the bride's house.
In traditional Thai weddings, the groom shall cross two gates called "silver gate" and "gold gate". The gates are on the way from the groom's home to the bride's home. To open the gate, the groom must give a gift, i.e. some money to the children. Of course the amount is bigger to open the gold gate than the silver gate.

Doors are symbolised by girls holding a chain. Often those girls are the bride's sisters. At each door the groom is asked if he is rich enough to take care about his wife and his family. He has to give an envelope to each girl in order that they remove the chain to let him pass. The envelope contains money. Each time a door is symbolically opened, people are shouting.
Wash feet ceremony
When the groom has opened symbolically all the doors, the bride is waiting for him at the house entry. Here can happen the wash feet ceremony. It does not happen in all weddings. The husband stands on a small stool and his wife washes his feet and makes a Thai greeting towards them ("WAI" - ไหว้). It is a symbol of respect, allegiance to husband and also a way to thank the groom for all he has done for the wedding (most expenses are paid by the groom family). Now as Thailand has entered a new era of equality between men and women, this tradition is not always respected.

During the marriage ceremony, money is shown to the guests. Most of the time the money is only shown in order to save the face of the bride's family but after the marriage ceremony the money is given back to the couple. For foreigners the amount is often more than 100,000 Baht in cash and some gold jewels. Often a gold chain is offered. In Thailand gold is measured in "Baht", the Thai gold measure. Thai people like gold more than banknotes. Thai people think that if sudden problems happen, gold can be sold to get cash. The wedding day is not a random day. An astrologer has set the best day according to the stars.
White thread ceremony
In a room, the newly weds sit close to each other. An old and wise man said auspicious sentences in order to bless the wedding and give hints to the bride. Then white threads are linked to the wrists of the newly weds. Threads are soaked with holy water.
In Thai language the Thread ceremony is called "PHITI BAI SRI SU KWAN" (พิธีบ่ายศรีสู่ขวัญ).The "BAI SRI" tree is often prepared by friends and neighbours. It is made of banana leaves. It is in the center of the "BAI SRI" ceremony.Newly weds have a white thread joining their heads. Some symbolic food is given to the newly weds. The guests attach a white string around the couple wrists and bless the couple
Shell ceremony
Outside the house, the newly weds kneel on a pedestal with their hands clasped together. A quite old man said auspicious sentences and anointed them on the forehead. The newly weds wear beautiful garlands around the neck.
Every guest pours a shell filled with holy water ("NAM SANG" - น้ำสังข์) on the hands of the bride and groom. They say holy sentences and blessings to the newly weds.
Wedding Party
The location of the wedding party can vary. An easy but expensive way is to book a hall in a restaurant. An another possibility is "TO CHIN" (โต๊ะจีน). It is a table for 12 guests with all food (7 dishes and one dessert). Everything is included in the price. Some workers are coming, dress the table, cook the food and clean everything when the party is over. It could be arranged in different ways i.e. Cocktail style, Buffet Thai food, Chinese food, or sit down dinner. Whatever the style, the wedding party usually follows the same steps:
  • The dinner party starts around 6 pm; the bride and the bridegroom with their parents will stand in front of the function room greeting and welcoming the guests.
  • Guests arrive.
  • Guests go to register the name at reception area. Guest will sign the guest-book wishing good luck for the couple. Guests will present the gift at the registration area. It could be gift or gift cheque.
  • Guests take photograps with the bride and the bridegroom.
  • Around 7 pm, the dinner starts.
  • Around 7.45 pm, the Master of Ceremonies (MC) starts the formal ceremony. Typically, the MC is one of the close friends of either the bride or bridegroom.
  • The MC invites both the bride and the bridegroom to the floor. A wedding Flower is pThe MC calls for the guest of honour. Usually, the guest of honour is the person who is well respected by the community. The person could be the immediate supervisor of either the bride or the bridegroom, or could be one of the relatives. Generally, only one person is enough. Sometimes there could be 2 guests of honour, one from each side. Usually, the guest of honour is aware of their role before the event.
  • resented to them by the parent of the bridegroom.
  • The guest of honour will give the speech. A speech should only take 2 to 3 minutes. Do not talk for over 5 minutes, it will annoy other guests.
  • After the speech, the guest of honour will asked all the guests to stand up and toast the bride and bride groom. All the guests will end the toast by saying CHAI-YO (Cheers) 3 times.
  • The guest of honour will step down from the floor. The MC might make a playful speech and interview the bride and bridegroom on how they met, how they fell in love, and tell some other fun stories about their love.This part is optional. It's depends on how good the MC is in his job.
  • Next, the bride and bridegroom will cut the wedding cake and serve some guests. Usually, they will serve the parents, senior relatives and the guest of honour.
  • After that, the bride and bride groom will walk around for pictures or movies with all the guests. Typically, the friends of the bridegroom will use this opportunity to individual salute the bridegroom by offering a toast.
  • The party finishes around 10-11 pm.